Tuesday, 1 March 2011

Question time: Preparing for marriage

SO sent me this questions a while ago. I think he got it from one of his 'for my eyes only' magazines. I don't have a problem with them, from what he shares he is picking up things that have enhanced our relationship on different levels. The questions therefore are aimed at men but could also be answered by both genders. They require simply a Yes or No and yet they provide so much food for thought. 

1. Can you be comfortable with being completely vulnerable with your spouse? Or do you see this as a weakness?

2. Can you permanently control your ego and deal with your spouse without any attitude?

3. Can you settle for less or do you always have to win an argument?

4. Could you let go and kiss your partner goodnight after a row?

I could only answer Yes to 3 and 4. I could try for Yes with 2 but for the word permanent. 1, I know that I am still working on. For vulnerability has for a long time for me been viewed as weakness and I am just gradually allowing SO in; into my thoughts, my fears, my weaknesses and my strengths. 

Sometimes I do struggle with 4. If I am hurt I just don't want to talk. I just want to do my thing and let him get on with his. However the questions made me realise that having a great relationship means learning things that go contrary to my natural reaction. Between stimulus and response is the ability to choose. As Christians we have been given the Holy Spirit who enables the fruit of love to be borne in our lives. So even though I could respond in a certain way to something I can still choose to act different. 

Just wanted to share that before it got lost in a myriad of texts and emails. Choose to handle things differently to keep the love strong between you and your partner today.

Love. Learn.

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