Monday, 4 April 2011

Marriage and happiness...Antonyms?

'Every marriage is made up of two flawed people. That includes you and your partner. It's not that we don't know it, it's that we keep forgetting it, or hoping that we're the exception to the rule. Expecting perfection is naive and will keep undermining your relationship. Happiness in marriage depends on coming to terms with your mutual defects and dealing with them realistically.'

The Word for you Today

If I got a penny for every time I lived by what I've just written above I would be one very rich lady. Two flawed people....but I always expect perfection. I have this joke with SO about being the perfect partner...complete with batteries. When we fight I don't know why everything I know flies out of the window. 

We had a misunderstanding recently. We've both been pulling long hours and well its been a stressful couple of weeks. We both retreat into our bubbles when we are upset for fear of saying something  we'll both regret. However, one end of the spectrum is not better than the other. We should aim for a balance where people can express themselves in a non-destructive manner. Sometimes when we say what needs to be said, feelings can be hurt in the process. It is important to know your partner, what their silence means, what their smiles mean. 

On my end my 'walls' just went up. My 'walls' have always been my defense mechanism against being! It's silly but its what I do. Even after the apology...we both apologised to each other...I was still having a hard time letting it go. In my own way, I felt he was getting off the hook 'too easy' but this morning I read that devotional. I should live knowing I am not perfect, he should live knowing I am not perfect. A mental assertion of the fact is not's the daily living. Marriage is about two forgivers living together.

So he will say some things I don't want to hear and I'll probably do the same. Marriage and happiness don't have to be the grace of God they can even be synonyms. I learnt that if you're a believer it is important to keep God at the centre of your life and your marriage as well. We can be wrong but God is always right. I look at my last post and laugh. Nothing prepares you for being in a relationship like being in a relationship.

Keep living, loving and learning...

No comments:

Post a Comment