I read an article entitled '7 Things Your Husband Wants to Tell You' on Yahoo Shine! I just wanted somewhere to bookmark it. Men and women have so much to learn from each other and I've always subscribed to learning more about men from men and not women. I thought there were really interesting points.
1. A small 'thank-you' makes a huge difference.
I'm trying to form a habit of appreciating SO for specific things. Not just 'thank you for all you do' or 'thank you for being you' but 'thank you for choosing chocolate cake instead of apple pie because that's my favourite desert' or for doing the dishes or for listening. It's not easy though, good habits are hard to learn.
2. I'm more likely to offer you concrete advice than a shoulder to cry on.
True about most men. True about SO. Men are fixers and solvers by nature...they're not too good at this emphatic listening thing. Either I roll my eyes when he goes into 'The Fixer' mode or I just tell him upfront that I just need to be held or vent and please no comments afterwards.
3. Give the chores deadlines
I think the main thing with men is about being specific about what you want. He can't read my mind...actually its strange that even though I know I actually act as if he can read my mind and get upset when he doesn't.
4. Tell me directly what's bothering you
Links to Number 3.
5. Please don't ask me how you look in that dress
Lol! I and SO have what we call 'lose-lose' situations and this has to be top of the charts! Men can never win this one.
6. I don't feel like talking all the time, it doesn't mean I don't want to be close
I am also learning not to take SO's need for space personally. I think its good that he does some things without me and vice versa. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Love is all about maturity, its also about seasons.
7. I wish you wanted sex more
I don't think I've read anything where this didn't come up in one form or the other. Well all I can say for now is Noted.
So there it is...hopefully I can remember all these guidelines.
Love.Learn
Showing posts with label Men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Men. Show all posts
Friday, 22 July 2011
Thursday, 10 February 2011
Men vs. Women
Most people have read the book 'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus'....I would guess that most of the people that have read that book are women...lol! I and SO have been talking about the differences between men and women. At the end of the day we both have to exist on one planet...right here on earth! While we academically acknowledge our differences we seem not to actually live with the understanding that we are different.
Sometimes when one of SO's friends calls him up for advice, he asks me for a woman's take on the issue. Because the truth is a lot of misunderstandings are simply that misunderstandings. I come to a conclusion without understanding the facts. I assume and I make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'. In a relationship I'm learning that men and women need different things. I haven't even scratched the surface of what men want or need but I believe that with a lot more love and understanding it doesn't have to be war. There can be peaceful co-existence between the sexes, it doesn't have to be a battle, we are on the same team.
Funny thing is that when men and women have issues we turn to our friends of a similar sex as us to try and interpret what the 'darn ole fool' is up to...I use that term as a joke...lol! We ask our girlfriends to help us interpret a man we married and probably know better than them. Its not a problem to share with friends but at the end of the day maybe a man can give you a better clue as to what's going on with hubby than another lady. Just saying.
Men and women often use the same words...'I love you', 'I miss you' which could mean very different things. SO says men need to be respected, honoured and appreciated as the 'first among equals'...first among equals, what does that mean. We are Christians and we adhere to the Bible tenet that the husband is the 'head' of the home. By head we do not mean ruler or tyrant but a loving leader. I read somewhere that men need to be satisfied...in their bellies and a little under their bellies. SO agreed with this one so wholeheartedly that I almost burst out laughing. In every book written by a man for women to have better relationships they talk about food and sex. So I guess its pretty important. I'm not a great cook...but I'm learning. I'm used to cooking in a certain way but SO is very well travelled and loves good food. So world cuisine, here we come. I love that he gives a helping hand in the kitchen but I'm determined to be able to 'throw down' there. When I make something he likes he raves and raves about it for ages so its worth it just for that smile.
I pray to be able to satisfy my husband with whatever he needs as long as it is in my power. So when the time comes..Victoria's secrets and all...well bring it on. Although I haven't been serious about working on my body I know that losing a few pounds will help me feel that much more physically attractive. SO rolls his eyes whenever I talk about losing weight, bless him but for me I know its love speaking but I'm really going to try this year to stick to healthier eating habits.
Women need security. A woman needs to know a man will honour her above all else. That's love to a woman. She needs to know she is the only one and that you've got her back. She needs him to provide, protect and pursue. That's not too much is it? Most women need romance, the unexpected messages during the day, helping her out with the dishes at night when you know she's had a hard, long day. Well, its the little things that count. I still like to believe a woman would take a man that really loves her over money. I may be wrong.
I love watching movies with SO because we always find something to talk about afterwards, sometimes we pick up on different things and it helps me find a glimpse into how things work on Mars. Understanding your partner's culture and language goes so far in bridging gaps between you and them. Definitely worth the time and effort.
Sometimes when one of SO's friends calls him up for advice, he asks me for a woman's take on the issue. Because the truth is a lot of misunderstandings are simply that misunderstandings. I come to a conclusion without understanding the facts. I assume and I make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'. In a relationship I'm learning that men and women need different things. I haven't even scratched the surface of what men want or need but I believe that with a lot more love and understanding it doesn't have to be war. There can be peaceful co-existence between the sexes, it doesn't have to be a battle, we are on the same team.
Funny thing is that when men and women have issues we turn to our friends of a similar sex as us to try and interpret what the 'darn ole fool' is up to...I use that term as a joke...lol! We ask our girlfriends to help us interpret a man we married and probably know better than them. Its not a problem to share with friends but at the end of the day maybe a man can give you a better clue as to what's going on with hubby than another lady. Just saying.
Men and women often use the same words...'I love you', 'I miss you' which could mean very different things. SO says men need to be respected, honoured and appreciated as the 'first among equals'...first among equals, what does that mean. We are Christians and we adhere to the Bible tenet that the husband is the 'head' of the home. By head we do not mean ruler or tyrant but a loving leader. I read somewhere that men need to be satisfied...in their bellies and a little under their bellies. SO agreed with this one so wholeheartedly that I almost burst out laughing. In every book written by a man for women to have better relationships they talk about food and sex. So I guess its pretty important. I'm not a great cook...but I'm learning. I'm used to cooking in a certain way but SO is very well travelled and loves good food. So world cuisine, here we come. I love that he gives a helping hand in the kitchen but I'm determined to be able to 'throw down' there. When I make something he likes he raves and raves about it for ages so its worth it just for that smile.
I pray to be able to satisfy my husband with whatever he needs as long as it is in my power. So when the time comes..Victoria's secrets and all...well bring it on. Although I haven't been serious about working on my body I know that losing a few pounds will help me feel that much more physically attractive. SO rolls his eyes whenever I talk about losing weight, bless him but for me I know its love speaking but I'm really going to try this year to stick to healthier eating habits.
Women need security. A woman needs to know a man will honour her above all else. That's love to a woman. She needs to know she is the only one and that you've got her back. She needs him to provide, protect and pursue. That's not too much is it? Most women need romance, the unexpected messages during the day, helping her out with the dishes at night when you know she's had a hard, long day. Well, its the little things that count. I still like to believe a woman would take a man that really loves her over money. I may be wrong.
I love watching movies with SO because we always find something to talk about afterwards, sometimes we pick up on different things and it helps me find a glimpse into how things work on Mars. Understanding your partner's culture and language goes so far in bridging gaps between you and them. Definitely worth the time and effort.
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