A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Irrespective of the journey, taking that first step always requires courage and strength of character. I believe we are constantly changing but it is always worthwhile to examine and chronicle those changes. There is something about crisis that forces one to think about oneself and what's really important. I think 2011 has been that sort of year for me.
I am realising how important it is for me to be the best me that I can be. The me that God created and intended for me to be. Maybe growing older gives one a different perspective of things and while I know that no one is perfect I have just grown tired of accepting some things as being 'me.' My pet peeves are worry and anxiety and I have literally worried myself sick over minor and major things but no more. I want to experience peace that is independent of what the situation in my life is at present. I am tired of being ruled by my emotions. I am tired of giving up on people in relationships because they hurt me. I am tired of staying in relationships that have existed past their due date. I am tired of making the same mistakes over and over again.
Recently I decided to refuse to accept my overweight status. It's not just about PCOS and wanting to look like the girls in COSMO. I am not a skinny girl but I am not supposed to be an overweight girl either. Sometimes one can accept something as being 'normal' because that is the way it has always been. I've always been quick to give a cutting response, big, have permed hair, shy...(fill in the blanks). That its always been that way doesn't mean it always has to be that way. Its not about not accepting who I am, I also realised that I don't want to be so caught up wanting to be better that I fail to appreciate the good that is me. Something about loving and being in love has made me realise that not to be the best me is to shortchange the people that love me and have to live with me of the best experience that they could have.
I'm trying to encourage everyone around me to embark on a healthier lifestyle too. Right now my focus in on reaching a healthier weight and increasing my fitness level. I participated in a 5K race last month and well let's say it was a big wake up call for me. Love is motivating me to change. I can't do anything about the condition I have, my genetics and my general predisposition but nothing has to control my life. I'm being the best me and living my best life right now.