Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Communication; Talk to me darling

Foremost leadership expert John Maxwell says that 'Everything rises and falls on leadership'...I'll say in marriage 'everything rises and falls on COMMUNICATION'. I love to read relationship focused blogs and they always say the same thing in terms of stressing the importance of communicating with your partner. I like the way my best friend said it, its not about talking more but sharing more. I have been in a relationship where we talked a lot  but we didn't necessarily share anything. The Bible talks in Genesis about Adam and Eve being 'naked and not ashamed' I think this is more than a physical thing but about having nothing hidden from your partner, being open and transparent. When one is naked, nothing can be hidden..

No, one doesn't start being open and honest on day one. However, a commitment to deeper communication must be made. Its easy to talk about the weather, random strangers on our commute to work, our friends but we must press higher and talk about the inconvenient and the awkward. This is an area I have had to grow in. I'm not one to really open myself up to anyone. Apart from being a very private individual, I am not really comfortable talking about things that pertain to me. Usually its because I have this perfectionist complex, I hate admitting I need help or that I've made a mistake. That's a bad and dangerous attitude to have because none of us are perfect and we all need each other. SO has really worked with me to help us communicate more. I am getting better..he knows now that when he gets a message with the tag 'sharing' he needs to take some time out. SO says sharing 'increases understanding, provides context and reduces misinterpretation....its a good thing for us to learn to share everything'. I say Amen to that.

This morning I shared some of my fears and insecurities with SO and his words just made me feel so much better and encouraged. So if anyone ever gets to read this. Never get to a place where you cannot share with your partner, you should be able to talk about the mundane and the really important. Never stop talking to each other, never stop being friends. I think its time to tell 'our story' its an interesting one..


  1. It's so funny, I also have a private blog about my relationship. You can send me an email if you are interested in reading it :).

  2. likes this info... again insightful