Thursday, 21 October 2010

Q and A: This Loving Kind

Just picked this one out of my inbox. I don't know where SO gets these questions from but suffice to say you never know if you don't ask. His questions are italicised followed by my answers. Part of the answers include private jokes so if anyone ever reads this forgive the bits that make no sense whatsoever!

What is it that makes 'us' love someone differently, specially?

I think like Solomon I have to ask for the wisdom of God on this one..Mmm...I believe there is a fundamental human need to love and be loved. While I think there is a place that only God can fill, I also believe He also created us with a need to relate with other people as well and it is in marital relationships we really learn about oneness. Also, needs are unique, I think there are a number of desires that we have as individuals that we are not even aware of. We want to be understood by someone else, be significant to someone else, be accepted for the totality of who we are by someone else. We talked last week about people being attracted to people who were very different from them and these differences sometimes becoming sources of irritation when the reality of being in a committed relationship dawns upon them. 

I think the answer to this question is different for everyone. I love you differently and specially because to me you are very different and very special. Every individual is unique but your uniqueness makes you stand out to me. What your friend said is true 'I would gladly let my daughter marry you'.......because I would too! : ) I know I keep repeating this but there is a way I believe you understand me that no one else outside my family and best friends do. Maybe this comes from us having similar personalities but I feel wholly accepted, wholly loved, not parts of me, not bits and pieces. There was a message you sent to me a while ago where you told me 'I would rather let you go and let you be happy with someone else than for us to be together and you be unhappy' that spoke volumes to me. Because the truth is love is not a cage with no way out but a room with a door left open. Love says 'the door is open but I want you to stay' and the other person makes the commitment to close the door, lock it and throw the key away because they are in it for the long haul...through changing scenes and seasons.

Its the sum of who the person is...their strengths and their weaknesses, their likes and dislikes..there is an initial attraction that you may be aware of or not...but then there is the growing to love them and this happens as you begin to know them, talk to them, share with them. One day you wake up and realise that the thought of being without them is unbearable, that they have become everything and you are ready to do whatever it takes for them to stay with you, share your life with you and grow old with you. 

It is also the risk, because love of this nature is indeed a risk but you love them specially because for that particular individual it is a risk you are willing to take. Just like I am willing to do for you because I love him truly, deeply, forever and beyond.

So darling..I'm not sure I really answered the question but that's my 2

Why does true love change a person and touch all aspects of their life?

Another hard one..I think it goes back to our basic nature. We were created to love, I find it interesting somehow how people do not get along with their family but idolise a dog/cat to the point of what some would consider insanity. Love changes you because when you truly love someone you find yourself wanting to be better for them, because 'us' becomes more important than 'me'. Its sad that we generally tend not to take the same care of ourselves/spouses after some time because we feel we don't have a need to impress them any more. This should not be the case, everyday we wake up we should try and be that much better just to make them happy. E.g no 'big' smiling on the train/tube any more with random strangers, giving up one coffee a day to have a drink of! In a lot of ways, one is discovering a new world...through the eyes of the one you love and it is unfathomable that the new information you receive doesn't change you in some ways. 

Also truly loving someone and having them love you back is one of the happiest things that can happen to someone. It brings you joy and peace, there is that special someone who is sharing your life with you..that happiness touches all areas of your life. I smile to myself all the time...I wake up expecting to get/send a good morning message (though you seem to always beat me to it..) and can't sleep till you say goodnight..the whispers have taken things to a whole different level..Even with the slight irritations of the day, I just feel that more patient because I am well and truly very happy. Its very new for me..I have not walked this path before with anyone.

Once again, I am unsure if I have answered your questions, but this has been a long!

Loving you every day...deeply, unconditionally, forever and beyond by the grace of God.

Keep living, loving and learning...

No comments:

Post a Comment