Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Picture Perfect?

I've just been musing about how things can be so different from what they look like on the surface. One of the big lessons I've learnt is that wisdom requires looking beyond the surface to know things as they really are, not what we think they are, not we want them to be. But as they really are.

Reading some blogs, reading some of the stuff I've written one could be forgiven for assuming that there are some perfect relationships. There aren't. I'm a perfectionist, I like things being perfect but I'm learning that no matter how hard I try, I'm not perfect. I can only do my best and on some days even that doesn't cut it. I used to be a fan of wedding websites and it's fun oohing and aahing at the pictures and I have no doubt that the couple I'm looking at is very happy but that's life. It's difficult to cram the last few years you've shared with someone into a website. Sometimes the stories sound like fairy tales but underneath the pictures I'm sure there are many stories.

So no we don't have a perfect relationship. Because neither of us is perfect. Two imperfect people cannot have a perfect relationship. However, it shouldn't just be the two of should be him, me and God ( a threefold cord not easily broken). Even as I'm typing this we're having a moment. In many cases, opposites attract. In our case, our similarities more than anything attracted us to each other and when we have issues its those same similarities that bring the cracks. We both retreat into our shells when we are upset so it can be frustrating sometimes and all my communication tips just seem to fly out of my head and I want to do the silent treatment thing. When I was younger and I got mad...umm let's just say I would say ugly things. Now I'm older and to combat that I started keeping my mouth shut but doing that just puts my mind in overdrive and I withdraw and become cold and distant. We've never had a big fight....the promise is to never sleep on an argument and we haven't broken that so far but then we've never had a problem at 11pm at!

Well, the commitment is to still love you even when I'm upset and frustrated. So no we don't always get it right but when you make the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone I guess that's inevitable. The main reason why I wrote this was because so many times people want to compare their relationships with someone else's based on what they think they know about the relationship. Usually it isn't as perfect as it looks, we all look good with makeup on! Learn from other people, what they did that worked for them and the mistakes they've made also. I pray never to compare SO to anyone else and say I wished he was more like so and so. I'll write a post on what my weaknesses are. Only advice I would to never stop talking to each other. Once the lines of communication are open things usually have a way of working out.

Keep living, loving and learning..

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