I would file this post under 'Getting It Wrong.' This blog is about sharing what I'm learning, inevitably that means sharing mistakes I've made and correcting them. I read a book a few years ago when I was single called 'The 10 Commandments of Dating' and the very first commandment was 'Thou shalt get a life.' This was just to encourage single people to live whilst waiting for Mr or Miss Right. There is a difference between being alive and living. I have spent periods of my life just going from day to day, literally counting down time to know the difference.
I've been guilty of not having a life. Of trying to get everything I need from our relationship. No relationship, no matter how healthy is designed to take this type of pressure. I realised recently that some dissatisfaction and disappointment I had been experiencing lately which I wanted to blame on my poor SO had absolutlely nothing to do with him. Emotionally healthy people make an emotionally healthy relationship. Women in particular tend to be guilty of this. I don't know how many older women have told me to always remember the 'me in us.' Not that I shouldn't love him or even put his needs over mine. Love is about sacrifice but that I should never forget the me in us. I should remember to have my time, my goals, my dreams and my destiny.
I'm blessed because so far SO has been very supportive and even though right now I'm at a cross roads so to speak I believe I have a one-man fan club encouraging me in the right direction. If I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing I'll be happy and fulfilled. That can only be good for us both. So I'm celebrating getting a life. Whatever path the road takes, I pray never to lose sight of who I am. I'm getting a life.