Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Day 12: Right or Reconciled

These days I read a lot of 'relationship' blogs, I'm intrigued on what other people's thoughts are regarding relationships and how their love stories are acted out. I must say I've learnt a lot, well I have assimilated a lot of information that I hope I will apply if and when the need arises. Relationships are very personal, what works for a couple may not necessarily work for me but I believe that there are some foundational principles that apply to all couples.

I was reading a blog where the writer asked her parents who were celebrating their 54th (yes 54th) wedding anniversary what they thought was necessary for love that lasts a lifetime. There was a list but out of that list the biggest point that stood out for me was 'decide if you'd rather be right or reconciled.' I shared the list with SO and he asked me why that particular point resonated with me the most. Writing my response below made me realise how much growing up I still have to! Sorry if the beginning doesn't make any sense.

I was looking at it from a different perspective. I don't like to be at the receiving end of ultimatum's so I try not to give them either.

I was thinking more along the lines of my thought processes when someone does something that hurts me and I keep them 'outside' because really that is what the silence is, creating a 'barrier' between me and them. It doesn't really matter if it was intentional or not.

'They' are wrong for what they did and my response is right and justified...Especially where no apology is! But being right can be lonely because barriers that keep others out also keep one in. So most times its more important to be reconciled than right.

Its funny how some things I think look when I actually write them down. Anyway we live and learn.

I have seen couples rejoice over battles they have won and then realise in stunned dismay that they have lost the war. Sometimes I'm right and he's wrong but at the end of the day I still want there to be an 'us' so reconciliation will always rank higher than being right. 

Love. Learn

N.B Giving myself a pat on the back for sticking out with my eating plan.


  1. I want there to be an "us" for real so HELP ‎​​ME God. Can't tell ‎​you how many times I feel so hurt by my man,and I end up keeping record of the wrong than right. Hmm, I'm learning I pray to apply same....

  2. Thanks for sharing that. Believe me if I got a dollar or pound for everything I did and do wrong in my relationship...I would be rolling in it, lol! However we live and learn. Each day brings an opportunity for us to either draw closer or pull apart.