Thursday, 25 August 2011

Day 13: Behind Closed Doors

Two days ago a friend of mine sent me a message informing me about Will Smith and Jada's decision to separate. This news hasn't been confirmed and I'm still praying its a rumour. Will and Jada are my favourite Hollywood couple..doesn't mean I agree with everything they say or do but I respect a lot of their thoughts and views on relationship. After 13 years together in Hollywood, I think one can even use the title 'relationship expert'! However this news (Lord, let it be a lie) just made me think about marriage and how so many things happen behind closed doors. It got me thinking of another post I had read about accepting your partner for who s/he is and comparisons.

I learnt a lot from the relationship I was in prior to being with SO. There were many issues but I can be woman enough to say that on my end I missed out on the person who was because I was trying desperately to mold him into what I thought he should be. I tried not to bring that attitude with SO. While it is good to learn from other couples, both their triumphs and their mistakes, there's so much that happens behind closed doors that one is not privy too. There is really no man I wish SO was more like, because I know that majority of the time he is doing his best. His best as a human being can not be perfect, neither can mine. So we learn to dance even in that misunderstood area that is called our 'weaknesses.'

Sometimes when I read this blog, especially my early posts I hope I am not portraying that what we have is perfect because it isn't. But we aren't building for perfection, we are building for strength and we are building for a lifetime. I would rather live in a bungalow with a solid foundation that can stand the storm than in mansion built on sand. So now I don't allow anyone to make me feel bad. Why doesn't he look at me the way X looks at Mrs X? There's a lot of PDA (public displays of affection) out there and most I pray are genuine. Know your partner for who they are and if you know deep in your heart they are giving you their all, appreciate them. It doesn't mean that if I feel I need something he isn't giving at a particular time I can't ask for it. It's just that my assessment of where our relationship is, is based on our 'us' behind our own closed doors and not what someone defines it for us as.


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