Saturday, 20 August 2011

Day 8: Its ok to cry..

'The nights of crying your eyes out will give way to days of laughter.'

Psalm 30:5 The Message

I wouldn't say I'm someone who cries easily. I wasn't always like that. As a child I was a big cry baby and was an easy target for bullies. I would never respond but would put my head down on my desk and cry. Growing up, I began to see tears as a sign of weakness. 'Big girls don't cry' and all that! However, yesterday when I got another rejection letter in my inbox, the tears just began to fall from my eyes. This year I have cried quite a bit, I think a bit more than I have in the last 5 years put together.

'It's ok to cry. As you let the tears out, you let out that overwhelming feeling, you express the pain and the hurt. But don't just stay there, let your mind go to the joy that will come in the morning. The nights of crying your eyes out will give way to days of laughter.'

I remember the first day SO saw me cry, something to do with dinner. Its funny when I look back on how I allowed little things to become such big things. But I felt so silly crying in front of this man. I realised that day that I would really have to unlearn a lot of old habits and begin to see vulnerability as a strength and not a weakness. That I was committing to a lifetime of sharing jokes and laughter but also sharing tears and disappointment. Its about sharing everything. He always wipes away my tears and gives me a big kiss and tells me that everything is going to be ok. He makes me mad sometimes, sometimes my tears have been about something he's done or well if I'm really being honest its really my perception of what he's done. However, everything said and done, I couldn't ask God to bless me with a better best friend. 

So its ok to cry. Let the tears out. Cry with a friend. And when there are no more tears, pray and look ahead to the days of laughter. I know they will surely come.

Love. Learn

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